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MOTHERS UNCOVERED IN THE GUARDIAN

7/9/2014

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Mothers Uncovered is all about women reconnecting with the self behind the mother. It's a mum group, more than a mum and baby group. Such things are rare - women, and especially mothers, repeatedly say something along the lines of, 'the baby's fine, I'm not really, but no, I mustn't say that, yes, everything's all fine…' They are experts in self-neglect and yes, this does have a detrimental effect on the baby and everyone else around them.

There is a desperate need for an environment where they can share the brave new world they are in. That's why PND groups don't always fit the bill. By and large, these women have 'new motherhood', not PND and people don't want to feel they are being scrutinised and monitored, with notes being kept about them on medical files.

I have written variations on this theme for the last few years and wanted this opinion to be put out there. I know some people will dismiss it as middle class mothers moaning, but it's not, it's a cross-class problem and is more about how women are regarded full stop, which is an extremely hot topic (various debates raging about Page 3, online abuse, Everyday Sexism et al). Nor is it moaning. These women don't want to be labelled as depressed - they want to share the highs as well as the lows. One of my new facilitators Charlotte, works for Comment is Free and we approached The Guardian about using a piece. We had to wait for a suitable news item and one presented itself in the shape of the NHS providing inadequate mental healthcare for mothers. I don't want to denigrate the NHS, I think they generally do a fantastic job, but they can't be all things to all people and a different approach might be called for.

I had a meeting recently with health visitors, some of whom clearly felt more comfortable once they had pigeonholed Mothers Uncovered as a 'creative group', therefore probably a bit hippyish and insubstantial. Yes, there's an arts element to what we do, but arts therapy is an extremely well established and respected tradition across a wide range of of spheres. What we really offer is peer support and community building. Cameron yarps on about the Big Society, but this is hollow and insubstantial. Our poor NHS is being dismantled along with our education system. It breaks my heart that a few suits in Westminster can have such a detrimental effect on the rest of the country but they do. It's time for us all to stand up for what we want and deserve.

Read the full Guardian article here...


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Lou's story

4/24/2014

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This is the beginning of my writing for Mothers Uncovered which in my view, is a hugely essential growing supportive network of mothers and loving women, for other mothers so that we can all together feel empowered and nurtured.   This was something I have been yearning to see as I have been adjusting over the last 2 years to becoming a single-mother to my 20 month old, Tara Shanti.  

As women, we are emotional creatures. It would seem that we, more so than men, have an obvious need to express emotions that rise within us. By articulating or verbalising to another, we feel a huge release. The importance of this release during motherhood is huge, yet varies of course between individuals. However, to say that if we as mothers don't articulate and process the deep emotions and feelings that childbirth, for example, can bring up, we might inadvertently hamper our own mental well-being and perhaps inflict some of the negative build-up on our children. I say this with regret, of course, that it is the reality, from my own experience and my observations of other mothers, often lone-parents with all the tremendous pressure of parenthood on their shoulders. We battle with maintaining some sort of calm and patience throughout all the challenges we experience whilst raising our children and dealing with other life pressures.  

The opportunity for me to express some of what I have experienced as a single-mother has been massive. To have the chance to do just that within the warm, relaxed and gentle environment that Mothers Uncovered has offered has made the release ever more meaningful. It has in effect allowed me to process and to move on from negative states of mind and to deal with some challenges with a more positive outlook. Not only this, but by beginning my release, so to speak, I have in fact begun to write more songs, now on the subject of motherhood. These, I hope to share with those who are interested to listen and I will do so with Maggie through the Mothers Uncovered pages if she feels that is appropriate. I do so myself, to share, to express and to connect with other mothers who have experienced or are experiencing similar situations. By communicating, we can become a supportive entity for each other and we can work to reduce or remove feelings of despair, isolation which can lead to depression. 

By Lou Noble, Guest Blogger


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    Author

    Maggie Gordon-Walker

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Mothers Uncovered founder Maggie's article, written for The Guardian - read the full piece here